How Do You Know When You've Found "The One"?!?!

   

    How do you know when you've found the one you're supposed to marry? 

What are you supposed to feel? How do you know when you're making the right decision? How do you tell the difference between an infatuation and revelation? These questions were ones that weighed on my mind a lot over the past year or so. As I had returned home from my mission and began dating again, this question was one that kept haunting me. Everyone I asked throughout my mission and afterward seemed to have a different story, but to me, the generic answer I felt like I always got was "you just know" or "when you know, you know." I accepted these answers for a while, but once dating got more serious, especially with my now husband, that answer was just not sufficing it for me. I needed more. I learned that I am way too emotional of a person to just go off of "you will just know/feel when its right" because I didn't! At least not a first. So after months and months of praying about it, fasting about it, and studying a whole boat load on this topic of "knowing", I learned a lot about personal revelation and agency. After getting engaged and later talking to other young adults, I found out that this anxiety of mine to understand how you know who you should marry was actually really common among other people too. So after being married a couple months and settling in a little, I decided to share what I learned (and theres a lot so buckle in!), hoping it might help someone else out there.

     I grew up in a family laden with divorce. My parents were divorced, my grandparents were all divorced, and what seemed like the majority of other relatives had been divorced. Divorce was almost just a norm for me as a child. I don't include this as some pity promoting section of this post, but I include it knowing that divorce is very prevalent in our society today and quite honestly, the idea can seem quite heartbreaking and scary. At least for me it did. And I know its the same for several other young adults. I always imagined that when it came time for me to meet "the one" that the Holy Ghost would help me know right away, I'd feel instant peace about whoever I was dating, I would feel an instant assurance of getting married one day, and some whimsical feeling to top it all off. After all, "you will just know" right? Eh, not really. At least not for me, and honestly I would say its not that way for the majority of people. So heres a look into my dating/engagement experience and everything I learned. I hope it helps someone dealing with the same questions!

My Dating/Engagement Experience

     I'd been home from my mission for several months, I was attending Utah State University, and I was going on a fair share of first or second dates here and there. I had been in a couple short term relationships since being home, and I was dating some really good guys. During those relationships, this question of how you know began circling through my head more often. None of those relationships panned out and I was getting super frustrating with dating and with boys. They seemed so fickle and I just hated all the emotional investment that went into these relationships. So in a moment of frustration and hurt, I remember making a decision to back off any potential relationships for a long while. I just wanted to go on a lot of fun first dates with really cute, good guys to make myself feel more validated after previous break ups. I wanted to avoid any relationships because I was convinced all boys were just emotionally clueless people (harsh, huh?). So I went on lots of dates, met lots of really awesome guys, felt no pressure for any relationships and had a good time. Not long at all after I made this decision, I noticed this super cute (and may I add buff) guy in my Sunday school class. With still no intention of getting into any relationship, I found him coming over to talk to me after class and we chatted for a couple seconds. After a couple days and a few dates with other guys, cute Sunday school boy wanted to know if I wanted to go to the gym with him. A little taken back, I agreed and we went up for our workout. Though I wouldn't consider this a date, this was my first time getting more acquainted with the hunky guy that is now my husband. So you might ask, what did I feel during this first interaction with my eternal companion? I thought he was cool. Yup, thats about it. I thought he seemed like a good kid, I enjoyed his muscles, and thought he was a real goofy dude. Quite the revelational experience, am I right? ha! Well after hanging out a couple more times at the gym and eventually going on an official date, cute Sunday school guy was now my friend Kaden. I had no interest in dating him exclusively and quite enjoyed our platonic relationship. I enjoyed how kind and fun he was, how pure he was, and got a laugh out of what a goob he was. However, as time went on, my "friend zone" pal took me off guard by putting his arm around me one day and kissing me the next. To make a long story a little less long, after a couple days of hesitation on my end, we were "official". A week passed and we were separated in different states for three weeks during winter break while I anxiously asked myself if I should keep dating him. I would ask myself "Is this relationship going to go anywhere? Is it worth my emotional investment? I haven't felt any strong feelings from the Holy Ghost about him, is that a sign?" and the list of questions went on. After going as far as messaging all of my favorite married couples from my mission asking them how they knew when their spouse was "the one", I felt even more confused as to how I was supposed to feel. I would pray if I should keep dating him and I caught myself even asking "Am I going to even end up marrying him?" to which I received no direction at the time. I was a nervous dating wreck and I will always remember the advice my mom gave me. In her exact words (more or less) she said, "Whoa, Kyndal, you are way overthinking this. Just slow it down, enjoy getting to know him over FaceTime and see if you still like him as much when you get home. You don't have to know anymore than that right now." By the end of the three weeks, Kaden planned on picking me up in the Salt Lake airport and I was winded by the time I got to him because of how I excited I was to see him again. A couple months went by of us being together every single day, and finally the "M" word popped up. When it finally became more real, I turned into an anxious mess yet again. I really really liked Kaden, he had become my best friend, but I didn't have that "without a doubt" feeling I was promised in a blessing during my exit interview with my mission president. I figured after dating him for four months, the Holy Ghost should have let me know something by now right?!?! This worry led to one of the most beneficial learning experiences and taught me a lot about personal revelation and the gift of agency.

What I learned Throughout My Studies

    Wanting to make a spiritually sound decision and feeling like I was getting no answers from Heavenly Father, I began an intense journey of studying general conference talks, attending young adult devotionals, rewatching tons of Face to Face events, meeting with my bishop, and counseling with my mission president over the phone. My mission president and his wife are my supreme example of how spiritual, fulfilling, joyful, and long-lasting a marriage can be. Other examples I absolutely adored were stake presidents I had known and their respective wives. And lets be honest, we all know general authorities slay our hearts by the way they talk about their sweet wives. These are the kinds of marriage I envisioned and the kinds of marriage I wanted. So I was searching high and low in gospel centered resources to find some magical formula of how you are supposed to know. Although I never found a magical formula, here's some of the highlights I did find: 

1) During a weekly USU institute devotional, an area seventy, Elder Lang, came and spoke to us. The devotional turned into a dating themed discussion and something he said stood out to me. It went something like, "I would be careful about the idea of soulmates. Too often, young people are fooled into the notion that there is some magical, whimsical feeling associated with finding your soulmate.You do not find your soulmate, you create a soulmate in the person you choose."

2) At Elder Uchtdorf's young adult devotional in January, he said that when you are looking forward to your decision making, it can be really hard to connect the dots to know if you're on the right path, but when you look backward, it is a lot easier to see God's hand in your decisions. Just that day, Kaden had told me a little bit about his experience leading up to us dating and I shared mine and it was amazing how much our experiences prepared us for each other. I could connect the dots of God's hand in my decisions looking back a lot easier.

3) I read many many many talks, articles, and scriptures on choosing your eternal companion and watched lots of videos. I have included an intensive list of links below in the order of what I would suggest first:

-"Confidence Tests" by Elder Lance B. Wickman

-"Agency or Inspiration, Which?" by Elder Bruce R. McConkie

-"How and By What Means Can I Know When I Have Found the Right Person to Marry?"

- "Deciding For Myself" by Valerie Durrant

-"Inquire Well to Marry Well" by Michael A. Goodman

-"Cast Not Therefore Away Your Confidence" by Elder Jeffrey R. Holland

-Face to Face video with Jeffrey R. Holland (specifically 15:30-33:55 or even 33:00-33:55)

-"The Faith to Marry" by Paul R. Warner

-"Choosing and Being the Right Spouse" by Thomas B. Holman

-"Finding Your Sweetheart" by Elder Lynn G. Robins

-"Children of Divorce" by Elaine Walton

Ok, this list looks intense, but these are the main articles I read and reread over the period of dating and getting engaged to my sweet boy. I do however have a little word of caution, at least from what I experienced. Some of these talks/articles mention how feelings of anxiety or worry are things to be cautious of. I must come from quite the emotional and anxious species of female because the decision about marriage made me anxious, I'll be honest. Coming from a family full of divorces and wanting nothing more than a joyful, gospel centered marriage, I was a little nervous. Reading these comments about being weary of feelings of anxiety made me even more nervous when it came to my decision to marry Kaden. So take heart and know that its ok if you feel a little anxious about the marriage decision because that just means your normal. However, there is a difference between a feelings of warning from the Spirit and feelings of nervousness based on past experience, so just prayerfully let the Lord help you discern what you're feeling. 

To condense my thoughts as much as I can, my take aways from my studies were incredible. The main principle I would like to share from what I learned is that YOU GET TO DECIDE! There is no magical formula of how you know, there is no whimsical feelings to the inspiration you are supposed to feel on the first date, second, third, or twentieth date, and there certainly isn't only one person you could make a joyful marriage with. I learned and now have a stronger testimony that Heavenly Father has not pre-mapped out our life for us and forces us to make choices accordingly. Although I personally do believe He already knows what we will choose, He is not going to make the answers to these decisions known to us before we have sought to make them ourselves. 

"You must study it out in your mind, then you must ask me if it be right" (D&C 9:8)

"Verily I say, men should be anxiously engaged in a good cause, and do many things of their own free will. For the power is in them, wherein they are agents unto themselves." (D&C 58:27-28)

He has created you and prepared you to make intelligent and spiritual decisions. So take confidence in yourself. If you are living by the commandments, partaking of the sacrament regularly, praying every day, and reading your scriptures fervently, YOU WILL BE OK! By this point in your life, you have made good decisions and you know how to continue making them. He has prepared you to do so. Although you may not have full confidence in it, you know how to recognize the promptings of the Holy Ghost. There are few things more beautiful than recognizing Heavenly Father's trust in you as an "agent unto [yourself]". During my time of prayerfully pleading for guidance from my Father in Heaven, I learned that I was asking all the wrong questions. Without realizing it, I wanted Him to make the decisions for me so I knew for sure they were good. I would ask "Am I going to marry Kaden? Should I keep dating Kaden?" when instead I learned that those questions were not His to answer. They were mine to decide. I learned that Heavenly Father is willing now more than ever to guide me in this decision so I started asking questions like, "Is Kaden being honest in his representation of himself to me? Can I trust him? Will our testimonies compliment eachothers' throughout our life? Will he remain active in the church?" This is when I finally started to feel like I was getting some answers. I started to ask Kaden hard questions about anything from his past or any struggles or anything I should know about. I started to really get to know Kaden and asked for my Heavenly Fathers guidance as I did so. I still remember a night of continued confusion and frustration in the lack of revelation I felt like I was getting so I continued to read more talks for some kind of guidance. I remember reading something that said (its probably in one of the talks above, sorry I don't remember which one) Heavenly Father will not confirm your question on a decision until you have made one. He can not confirm a decision you haven't already decided on yet. It goes against the nature of the gift of agency He so mercifully gave us. So YOU MUST DECIDE. You must study it out in your mind, pray about specific questions, pray that you will see things as they really are throughout your relationship, and gauge how you feel about the other person, and then YOU DECIDE. I remember reading this talk and falling to my knees in frustration and saying, "ok Heavenly Father, I don't feel like I have gotten any sure answers and so I am sick of feeling so anxious and confused. I have just decided that I love Kaden with all my heart and I am going to marry him. That's really all I've wanted all along. If this is wrong for me to do, then please stop me somehow, otherwise, I'm marrying my best friend." Almost instantly, I felt a gentle, warm feeling of peace. I wanted to cry and run over to Kaden's apartment across the street and hug him for hours. I finally felt a confirmation from my Heavenly Father. I felt His approval and love and trust that I can make righteous decisions.

 As time pressed forward, as we planned on getting engaged, and worked towards our engagement, feelings of worry and doubt still came. Family is the center of God's plan so naturally Satan is going to create opposition in some way. My opposition was fear. Fear of separation, fear of ever losing Kaden, fear of not knowing how to listen to the Spirit's promptings. But in the words of Elder Holland, "You should not hang back on a good thing, you go for a good thing... I wish to encourage every one of us regarding the opposition that so often comes after enlightened decisions have been made, after moments of revelation and conviction have given us a peace and an assurance we thought we would never lose...With any major decision there are cautions and considerations to make, but once there has been illumination, beware the temptation to retreat from a good thing. If it was right when you prayed about it and trusted it and lived for it, it is right now. Don’t give up when the pressure mounts. Certainly don’t give in to that being who is bent on the destruction of your happiness. Face your doubts. Master your fears. “Cast not away therefore your confidence.” Stay the course and see the beauty of life unfold for you."

As I have decided to move forward with faith from the night when I prayed to my loving Father in Heaven and received His approval, I have seen the beauty of life unfold to me. Kneeling across the alter in the temple from my sweetheart was the moment I realized that the promise from my exit interview about knowing whom I should marry "without a doubt" had come to fruition. Kaden is the sweetest man I know and his character continues to prove true to the man I fell in love with during our courtship. He makes me happier than anyone in the world and he is truly my best friend. There's not a thing I wouldn't do for him, because he has already done it all for me. Every day I am grateful for the lessons I learned throughout my time with Kaden, that not only do I get to make my own choices, but that my Heavenly Fathers wants me to and trusts me to do so. Kaden will forever be my choice and I feel so much peace knowing Heavenly Father approves. Every day I will continue to love the choice I have made. It didn't come without fear and anxiety, but it came with an eternity of blessings I will never regret. 

              

Additional Scriptural Gems if You're Interested

"..the sons of God saw the daughters of men that they were fair; and they took them wives of all which they chose." (Genesis 6:2)

"...Now, if ye give place, that a seed may be planted in your heart, behold, if it be a true seed, or a good seed (or a good relationship), if ye do not caste it out by your unbelief (or anxiety over the decision), that ye will resist the Spirit of the Lord, behold, it will begin to swell within your breasts;...ye will begin to say within yourselves (before you take it to the Lord)-it must needs be that this is a good seed....for it beginneth to enlarge my soul....but behold, as the seed swelleth, and sprouteth, and beginneth to grow, then you must needs say that the seed is good (or the relationship is good and is always growing)." (Alma 32: 28-30)

"But behold, that which is of God inviteth and enticeth to do good continually; wherefore, everything (or any one) which inviteth and enticeth to do good, and to love God, and to serve him, is inspired of God (or in a relationship is led by God)." (Moroni 7:13)

"And now, my brethren, seeing that ye know the light by which ye may judge...see that ye do not judge wrongfully." (Moroni 7:18) {You know how to make good decisions because of the light of Christ you have acquired over the years}

"I have prepared all things, and have given unto the children of men to be agents unto themselves." (D&C 104:17)

"...ye are free; ye are permitted to act for yourselves; for behold, God hath given unto you a knowledge and he hath made you free." Helaman 14:30 {Pray for further knowledge from Heavenly Father regarding your relationship, not the answer to your decision}

(CLICK HERE) Lost Boys Ruth B- Cover by Kyndal Cowper

Real World- Inside my Newest Original Song

Click here to view video and listen to the song                                                                                       The song I'm sharing with you today is one that i was really inspired by the Spirit to write and I lately I have really felt impressed to share it hoping that maybe others can relate and find inspiration in it. This song is called "Real World" and it was inspired by a few different concepts. It's been really interesting to come home from my mission and review my pre-mission life and kind of everything I used to do before the mission. The social media presence in our time is huge, I feel like especially for my generation. I remember before my mission getting so caught up in comparing my news feed to the next girl or guy and constantly trying to live up to this portrayal of that "pretty girl" on Instagram who has lots of followers, lots of likes, lots of self validating comments, and whatever else. Everyone's life seems so fun, adventurous, flawless, blah blah blah. But then I shut down my phone and shipped off for eighteen months on a mission for my church with no Instagram or Facebook or any social media of that nature. There we use iPads for the missionary work and I was blessed to learn really inspiring principles from a pamphlet called "Safeguards for Using Technology" and it taught me amazing safeguards and principles I can govern myself by when it comes to technology use. It talks about things such as the purpose of our technology use and if we're using it for good, our discipline in our technology use and how much time we're using on it, how often we open it up, and things like that. I became so good at these habits of proper technology use but I was scared to come back to the real world of Instagram and Facebook and everything else. I just wanted to keep these safeguards somehow. It has been really interesting to come back after eighteen months of serving the Lord and serving His children (which is something that brings a far greater sense of fulfillment and satisfaction) and realize that all of that self validating social media use isn't as attractive anymore. I really don't care that much about it to be honest. I haven't gone all anti-social media. I still think it is an amazing tool that was inspired and it can be used for such good purposes, but I have found such greater joy and entertainment and satisfaction in living life in the REAL WORLD detached from checking my newsfeed and notifications every two minutes. Enjoying vacation time without feeling like I have to capture everything in a cool photo to post, or enjoying time with my family without feeling like I have to be connected with some social virtual reality all day every day. I think social media has its good purposes and I love staying in touch with people, seeing what they're up to, and I really do enjoy a pretty picture every once in a while, don't get me wrong. But I think it's more of the perfect portrayal of our life mentality that is affecting so many people of my generation. The dirty comparison game that is the thief of joy! We all just need to be happy for each other and NOT feel like if our life isn't the same, or our wardrobe isn't the same, or our body isn't the same, or  our whatever isn't the same as the "pretty girl" we are following on Instagram that somehow, our life doesn't have as much worth. I hope this can help someone somewhere who may feel a little lost and undervalued because of this sneaky mentality the adversary tries to manipulate us with. Heavenly Father knows you, loves you, and sees you. Greater joy than ANYTHING ELSE is found when we are following Him, serving Him, and serving His children. That's where true self worth comes from. And that's where the best kind of self validation comes from, I promise!

Lyrics:

Im staring at the photos 

Of who I am supposed to be

What I'm supposed to see in 

The mirror will tell you many lies

Like you're not good enough

So you gotta keep trying

Oh in my head, I can feel at peace

I'm never satisfied, cause it's all just a lie to myself

(Chorus)

Please tell me what is it worth?

To be "that pretty girl"

The bill came and it's quite the cost

As we're feeling worthless and lost

But there is so much more to me

Than what they're seeing on the screen

The Lord gave me a greater cause

And since then, I can see this isn't the real world after all. 

We're all so trapped in this game

Of my world verses yours

Our feed decides our worth

What if we turned off everything?

Captured what's around with only sight and song

We're all made for far greater things than what this world provides while we're trapped in all its lies of who we are 

(Chorus) 

The real world doesn't look this perfect every single day

We all feel some pain too

Photos might hide everything on the other side 

So we all must realize

We can't live our lives through a screen, no

(Finishing Chorus)

I promise it's not your worth

To be "that pretty girl"

The bill came and it's quite the cost

We're better off, seeking the One Who knows where we're lost

There is so much more to me

Than what they're seeing on the screen

The Lord gave me a greater cause,

And since then I can see this isn't the real world after all

.

Power to Redeem Cover

With a little free time on my hands, I decided to make a cover to this Lauren Dangle original "Power to Redeem". I heard it for the first time a few weeks before coming home from my mission. One of the missionary's had it on their CD and I fell in love with it. My favorite line is "with breath that brings the dead to life, with words that pierce the dark with light." The Savior's life truly did make it so we can live again and that I know with all my heart. And His words have pierced my own spiritual darkness bringing further light and understanding about who He is, who I am, and what the purpose of this life is. I am so grateful for that because its changed my perspective on EVERYTHING! I especially cherish the beautiful stories of the Savior's ministry unfold in the New Testament as well as the amazing doctrine about His power to redeem in the Book of Mormon. Upon returning home, I think I have re-fallen in love with music and I love sharing my testimony through it. I hope you enjoy!

CLICK HERE

Sacred Ground to Me - Kyndal Cowper (Original Song)

Click Here To Watch

Why Serving A Mission Wasn't the Best 18 Months of My Life

I have recently returned home from my 18 month mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints in the Texas Dallas Mission. It has been a whirlwind of emotions and feelings the past six weeks since returning home and naturally I have found myself pondering back upon my mission a lot. It is an incredibly exciting time as I have watched my amazing friends return home from their missions and to reunite after a long 18-36 month time. It has been fun to catch up, compare our mission experiences, and share our testimonies of the principles that will make a life long impact upon all of us. But something that keeps pressing on my mind is a common phrase I have heard over and over, "My mission was the best eighteen/twenty-four months of my life. I would give anything to go back." The more I have thought about it, the more I have realized that my mission WASNT the best eighteen months of my life.

Before you stop reading here, click the little red "x" at the top and assume that I've gone apostate and hate my mission, I would like to explain myself here a little people. Yes I absolutely loved loved loved my mission. It was so sacred. I loved serving God, becoming best friends with His Son Jesus Christ, teaching the liberating principle of repentance, bringing others unto Christ by helping them receive the ordinances and covenants of the gospel, and everything else that a mission entails. I grew in ways I never expected. I truly came to KNOW my Savior Jesus Christ. I grew to love so many amazing and awe-inspiring people. Don't get me wrong, my mission was THE SINGLE MOST sacred experience of my life..............up to this point. That last part is crucial for me. UP TO THIS POINT.

In the last few weeks of my mission, I had few too many nights in my little apartment in Plano, TX crying myself to sleep because the thought of going home felt like a knife in my stomach. Sure the mission wasn't easy, but the thought of not being around my mission president and his wife all the time, leaving my new life-long friends I had made in the missionaries around me, and not being able to focus on solely teaching repentance 24/7 made me want to curl up under a rock and never come out. I felt like I was drowning in fear of the "real world" and felt hopeless as I wondered how I could ever be this happy again. I had lacked faith in the idea that the Savior could provide just as much (if not more) strength/grace off the mission as He did while I was on the mission. I was in denial about leaving and felt anxious anytime someone would bring up the fact that I was going home soon.

During our last day as we said goodbye to the Taylors and headed to the airport to leave Dallas, I remember feeling so broken hearted. As one of my companions and I were contacting people in the airport while we were waiting for our flight, I think I might have turned to her and said something along the lines of "This sucks", or "I hate this", or "My heart feels like it is shattering into a thousand pieces", 869,003 times. I was so full of gratitude and love for my mission, and yet so full of frustration that it was all ending right then and there. I remember praying on the airplane and saying something to the affect of, "Heavenly Father, I hate how I feel right now. I know this is supposed to be a triumphant and happy time of my life coming home from a mission and all, but I don't feel that way. I am supposed to go home and be happy and feel at peace that I am done, but right now I don't feel that way. I don't want my mom to see me like this. I don't want my family to think I'm not happy to see them or to be home. This is supposed to be a good thing. So please, Heavenly Father, help me feel like this is a good thing."

With that simple prayer, I continued to watch the skyline of Dallas fall behind us through the airplane window. I remember a clear thought come into my mind saying, "if I provided so many miracles on the mission, why don't you believe I can still do the same while you're home. Why do you believe my grace is going to end now?" To be honest, I was kind of taken back by that thought. For a short moment, it popped me out of my own little bubble of doubt and faithlessness. It surprised me to come to the realization that with all the faith in my Savior my mission led me to acquire, I wasn't having faith in Him now.

As we came down the escalators at the SLC airport to see our family and friends, I felt so excited and so happy to be with them again. The sadness and feelings of being broken hearted slowly began to leave and I felt an incredible feeling of excitement for what lied ahead. As we drove up to our hometown to be released by my stake president, I had anticipated a tragic thirty minute meeting where I would inevitably feel empty, purposeless, horribly devastated, and every other negative feeling you could possibly feel.(dramatic, I know) But the Lord didn't stop answering my simple airplane prayer. As we sat there and I recounted all the things I had learned and all the things I had felt, I felt so peaceful. I felt so strong, empowered, happy, excited, and faith filled. My stake president is a very inspired man and I remember chills just rushing over my body as he said the words, "You are being released as a full time missionary, but not as a missionary. You are being released from full time service but not from full time discipleship. You are being released from the bounds of the little white handbook, but not from the sacred bounds of your covenants. When the black tag comes off, your REAL mission begins. This is the real mission. This is where you can truly prove yourself as a devoted disciple of Jesus Christ."

To any and all return missionaries who may be reading this and who may have struggled with the same feelings of, fear, doubt, confusion, purposelessness, etc, I would love to share with you a saying my mission president would always say to me, "Your mission is simply the launchpad of your life. You can't stay forever, or else you'll never fly." So don't feel hopeless. Take faith in yourself and more importantly in the Savior. Continue actively and energetically living as a devoted disciple of Jesus Christ. Keep your mission habits. Keep studying your scriptures every single day, praying sincerely every morning and night, fasting regularly, go to the temple every week, take the sacrament every single Sunday, and focus on turning outwards and serving others at all times, and you WILL BE OK. Trust that the Savior will put you in the right places at the right times just like He did on your mission. As I have focused on these things that past six weeks, I have felt an amazing sense of perspective and joy and Spirit permeate my return-missionary life, even though I have no idea what I am doing with it. Don't let doubt weigh you down. Keep living by the same principles and habits you learned on the mission, and let your mission launch you into life FLYING. My mission was amazing but it wasn't the best eighteen months of my whole life. I know and trust the best are yet to come as I continue living as a disciple of the Lord Jesus Christ.

Vietnamese Sister

Happy Monday!

This week was had days of utter miracles and days that were blah and
uneventful. But hey, that's life right?! First of all, on Monday we
set a baptismal date with two of our investigators. David and Kristy.
They are from Vietnam and they are SUPER cool. He speaks little
English so his wife translates for him but they truly love their
Savior and they just want to follow Him the best they can. The concept
of the priesthood really stayed with them and motivated them to
continue forward. We originally set their date for this coming
Saturday the 5th but have to push it back because we felt like we were
rushing them a little. Because of scheduling conflicts, the current
date isn't until April 9th but I'm so excited for them. They have
already brought their friends to lessons with us and they brought one
of their friends to church on Sunday and they want us to come over on
Wednesday night to their little worship get-together to meet more of
their friends. We keep joking about how just from the Phams, we are
going to get a whole flock of their Vietnamese friends to be baptized
and start the first Vietnamese branch in Dallas. Haha! We call
ourselves the Vietnamese sisters because we joke about how we were
going to get called to learn Vietnamese to be the sisters for the
branch. Haha!

End of First Transfer

So this week marks the end of my first transfer. (That's something new
to me in the mission. Time is measured by transfers which are every 6
weeks). Sister Byers and I were convinced that she was staying in
Allen one more transfer but lo and behold, we get a call this morning
and she is being TRANSFERRED! She is going out east to Tyler and I am
staying in Allen and getting Sister Jones as my back up trainer. I've
heard awesome things about her and how hard working she is. But I'm
sad I don't get another transfer with Sister Byers. I know President
Taylor is inspired of the Lord and I know the Lord has His own plan
for this area.

This week was hard but good nonetheless. My body reached a whole new
level of exhaustion. I think the biking everyday all day thing along
with such a new vigorous schedule has just left me wiped after my
first transfer. My body felt so weak this week and I felt so mentally
exhausted. But it really helped me to humble myself and realize that
"as to my strength I am weak; therefore I will not boast of myself,
but I will boast of my God, for in his strength I can do all things."
(Alma 26:12). The work here in Allen is really picking up and I trust
that the Lord has many prepared hearts that are ready to receive the
restored gospel into their life. I just want all y'all to know of my
testimony of this gospel. I know Jesus Christ and our Heavenly Father
really live and that they know each of us personally. And that's not
just me being naive or hopeful. I have had evidences all throughout my
life to backup my faith. So many prayers have been answered in ways
unexplainable by human logic and after that happens time and time
again, I can not blame it on coincidence or chance. I feel my Saviors
love and my Heavenly Fathers love. I feel of His reality in a very
true sense. I know there is a plan to our life and a reason for us
being here on Earth. I know we can return to our Heavenly Father as we
ACT on faith and become better and better every single day of our
lives and as we become more like the Savior and emulate the way He
lived His life. His life of love, service, diligence, obedience,
humility, and hope. It's real. And as we live according to the gospel,
EACH of us will be blessed. This isn't just a religion or a faith but
it's a way of life that will give us the most fulfilled sense of joy
and satisfaction. A sense of satisfaction and joy that nothing else in
this life can bring with such magnitude. And it's not just a gospel
for some, it is for EVERYONE to benefit from. That's the Lords hope is
that everyone will follow and be blessed by His truth. I'm not on my
mission because it's a social norm in my church, or because it was
expected of me in anyway. I'm here because I know our Heavenly Fathers
plan of happiness is REAL and what we teach everyday about Joseph
Smith restoring Christs church in its fullness to the earth is REAL.
The promises and blesses we make and receive at baptism is REAL. Trust
me when I say that I would not be here doing this, serving with every
ounce of energy I have, if I wasn't sure this gospel is a good thing.
It will bless. I know it. It has blessed my life beyond explanation.
It is something that is not worth being lax about. I think you can
understand why I might say, if it's true, (and it is), then it's a big
deal and each of us ought to investigate it for ourselves and find out
for ourselves. As we bring in the New Year, I urge you to push forward
in hope and build your faith in these things. I promise you it will
change your life eternally for the better.

Pictures from 12.14.15 Email

A Savior is Born

Lately, as we knock doors and talk to people, we have been using the
new Christmas video "A Savior is Born" on our iPads to contact. It's
been the nicest tool! It's a great way to just catch their attention
and start a conversation about the Savior and their beliefs. It's such
an inspiring video people usually love it and it really breaks the
ice. It's interesting because sometimes when people answer the door
and we ask if we can share the video with them, they immediately get
freaked out and tell us they already have their religion and they
already found Christ and shut the door. I just think it's funny
because we are just asking if we can share an inspiring 2:00 clip
about the Savior with them for Christmas. I mean of course we'd love
to share more of our message specifically, but if they don't want to
listen to our message, then at least we'd love to show an inspiring
video about Christ. But I get it at the same time. People have their
preconceived idea of missionaries so it's understandable from their
viewpoint. (Still kind of ironic to me though. Haha) My favorite was
this cute lady who was outside with her teenage son yesterday and we
asked if we could share the video. She told us she was a devout
Catholic but she would still watch the Christmas video. Her sister
came out and they all watched it. When it ended she was like, "Awww,
that wasn't long enough! That what so beautiful I loved it! Thank you
for what you do and going around sharing this message." She was so
cute and so nice!
I love moments like that. When people make it clear they don't want
to hear us in a polite way but still "rejoice in Christ" with us and
find common ground that we all feel good about.

A flat tire, a sweaty face, and a few miracles

¡Hola mi familia!
I may not be a Spanish sister but I can pretend. :D This week has been
quite the adventure to say the least. It's been very trying and a
growing experience. Remember how last Monday I wrote that I had a sore
throat. Well, I woke up on Tuesday and it was a lot worse! I could
hardly talk and I felt really exhausted. My companion taught me the
importance of taking care of ourselves so we can fully do the Lords
work so we stayed in all day so I could rest. I didn't realize
how tired I was until I would pass out into a deep sleep for 2 hours
at a time. But my companion is the sweetest and just made me soup and
made me feel better about staying in because I was pretty stressed
about not being out. The next day I didn't feel that much better but I
didn't want to stay in. It was so cute, so we were at a Zone
Conference on Wed. and my throat was still pretty sore and my voice
was so hoarse. Half way through the meeting, Sister Pickup catches my
attention from the door and waved around a bag of cough drops. I asked
if she had any that morning and when she said she didn't, she dropped
us off at church for our meeting and went to the store to get me
some!!! She is so sweet!! It's been a pretty slow week and we haven't
had a ton to do. We got lost on Thursday trying to find our dinner
appointment and had a crazy time racing across time. Then Friday, Oh
Friday! That was a rough day. We were so excited to meet with our new
investigator Monts and had scheduled for Friday morning. I was already
in kind of a bad mood that morning because we hardly had ANYTHING
planned to do on Friday and that was frustrating me, and then on our
way to our discussion, my light on my helmet fell off when we were
crossing the intersection and my batteries flew everywhere, then my
jacket got caught in my tire and got it all black and dirty. Then
Monts wasn't home! :( don't worry, the story gets better. We go home
for lunch and planned on trying Monts afterwards. So on the way back,
drum roll please...my tire on my bike popped!! So we walked the rest
of the way to her apartment only for no answer, and had walked all the
way back to our house. There were some tender mercies along the way
though. It just so happened the ward mission leader of the 7th ward
(not a ward we cover) was driving through the parking lot next to us
when my bike tire popped so he offered his assistance. We didn't need
any at the time but it was a tender mercy just to know he was there.
Then a sister from the 3rd ward came over to give us a tube so we
could fix our tire. We fixed and THOUGHT it was all set so we started
heading off to our dinner appointment across town. As we started
going, my tire was getting flat again!! It was so hard to ride and we
were already running late for our appointment so Sister Byers was a
beast and "Tour de Franced" it to the members home for me (clearly
she's buffer than me). Dinner was fine and the members were kind
enough to take our bikes to the gas station to fill them up with air.
We continued on our night to our next appointment across town again
just to pull into the apartment complex parking lot and get a text
from the person saying we would have to reschedule. We hung out heads
and laughed. By the time we had biked from one end of the area to the
other three times during the day, we finally went home and ended the
day. It was crazy but it was a great learning experience just to
practice (notice how I say practice because I'm not good at it yet)
being positive in frustrating times. Saturday was pretty crazy too but
okay. We taught Seth and Lilian, our other new investigator, the
restoration. He is so awesome! He is very open minded and willing to
pray about what we have taught. He has a lot of great questions that
are so valid and really make me think and dig deep. It's great! I love
it!

I realized in church yesterday that I felt so weak and EXHAUSTED this
week because I really wasn't relying on the Lord. I was trying to rely
on my own strength and just make it to the end of the day. I was
praying for help or strength. I wasn't focusing on Christ and my
purpose as a missionary. I realized I need to pray for strength every
day. At first it might just be enough to get out of bed and start my
day, but over time as I have more faith, I will feel the strength to
get through my whole day and be able to teach with power. Small by
small. Line upon line. Precept upon precept.

D&C 64:33 has become a go to scripture for me. It's gooood! Go look it up. <3

Well know God is good and trying times are for our benefit.

Two quotes that I love (thanks Staci Castle):

"All crosses are easier to carry when we keep moving." -Elder Neil A. Maxwell

"There is divine purpose in the adversities we encounter every day.
They PREPARE, they PURGE, they PURIFY, and thus they bless." -Elder
James E. Faust